6.15.2012

Why having a baby is like having a dog...

We had a dog. His name was Scooter. He looks adorably cute in this picture. Then, I got pregnant. We found a nice new home for Scooter, a better home. His new owners have three other dogs that they spoil. They even bought steps for Scooter to climb into bed with them. I used to kick him off the bed in the middle of the night. Before Scooter, I would have totally said I was a dog person. I always had at least one dog growing up, if not two. Scooter belonged to Chas.

Chas was lonely before he met me. He lived alone is his one bedroom, basement apartment. He would eat rice for dinner and fall asleep on the couch every night dreaming of meeting me (or really, listening to sermons). So in his loneliness he got a dog. Scooter has a sad story. His previous owners wanted to have him put down for biting. But dear, sweet Chas jumped in and saved the day! He took Scooter home thinking "There's nothing wrong with this dog."  Then a few months later, Chas and I met and fell in love. We had a whirlwind courship, getting engaged within 4 months and married after 9. We fell in love hard and fast!

Scooter had jealousy issues. One day early on, if not the first week of our relationship, Chas and I were kissing on his couch. And out of nowhere Scooter tried to bite my face off! He lunged for me and tried to attack. After that, I never liked him again. We got married and moved into our own one bedroom apartment and I dreamed of having a baby. I'd told Chas from day one I wasn't comfortable with Scooter around my future babies, "what if he bites?" Scooter had his fair share of incidents, biting my leg, Chas' hand, he tried to bite a friend who was watching him for us. Then, one sad night, he sealed his fate.

Scooter had something stuck to his face. I reached to get it off and snap! He bit my finger. He broke the skin, I was bleeding, and of course, crying hysterically. I had to go to the dr., get a tetanus shot, and Chas agreed, if I got pregnant, we would find Scooter a new home. Fast forward a few months later we got the wonderful news that little Noah was on the way. We started looking for a new home for Scooter. We found one immediately with the help of a friend. And no, I don't feel sorry for Scooter. I don't doubt for one second that he doesn't have a better life with them.

So now, we have no pet. It's glorious. I don't have plans to get another dog anytime soon. Noah, however, loves dogs. He loves playing with the dogs at my mom's house. It brings him great joy and I'll admit, it is pretty darn cute. But in a way, I already have a dog....



We have a baby.  His name is Noah. He looks adorable in this picture. The he learned to crawl. And got teeth. Noah is like having a dog.


Just like Scooter, Noah likes to bite. Those cute, tiny little teeth, all four of them, are sharp! He likes to bite my shoulder, my hand, my nipples, and his books and toys. And thanks to all those teeth he also slobbers on everything, just like a dumb dog. I clean up piles of slobber all day long. I change his shirt at least once a day because it is soaked. He chews on the furniture trying to get relief from his teething, despite the $20 glorified dog toy, known as Sophie. And he tears things up, like magazines.


And just like a dog, we have accidents. I can't tell you how many times I've cleaned pee off the carpet in the last month. Noah is wiggly. He wiggles away as fast as he can after a bath or during a diaper change. His tiny, bare hiney is so darn cute I always think "Oh, what's the harm in letting him be free for a minute."  Then I hear that sound and his laughter. He's peeing. Great. And we gave away all of our pet carpet cleaning products because we gave away our dog. Sadly, it doesn't stop with pee. I've picked up some poop lately too. Technically, that's my fault. I grab the diaper to take to the bathroom so I can spray it out and something falls out. Fun.

What about you? Does your child remind you of a pet? I have more love for this baby than I've ever had for animal. Lucky him, I won't be finding him a new home no matter how hard he bites me.

4 comments:

  1. I'd love to get rid of our dogs. They're jealous of the baby. If I take the baby upstairs to change the baby or put him down for a nap, they poop on the floor at the bottom of the steps. One dog growls viciously at him. Another tried to nip at his face. My husband doesn't see the issue. I'm so tempted to drop them off somewhere while he's at work :(

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  2. One of our cats is always nipping at DS, but it's because DS is always climbing in him and being rough. I get mad at the cat, but I am also trying to use it as way to teach the word "gentle." it's been pretty effective and I've been able to use it to tell him to be gentle with other things like family member's pets or his sister. ;)

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  3. Funny! I've been saying that my little guy is a lot like a puppy lately. He chews on everything, especially shoes(if he can get to them). He pees on the floor. He also brings "ankle biter" to a new level! He's just so darn cute while he does it :) I'm very lucky that we have the pets that we do. My two 13 year old cats will let him do anything and keep purring while he jumps on them, so it's a good chance to teach gentle. And, the mostly toothless pug dog is also very tolerant. I couldn't find more kid friendly pets. I feel very strongly that a pet of any kind that would attack a baby has no place in our home. I would be very hard if I had to fight with a family member about this issue.

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  4. Raising kids is so much like having a puppy! I swear one day when my kids are all grown I will write a book about it. "How having kids is like having a puppy" or something like that-- lol.

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