The sting of a pregnancy announcement

Just a disclaimer before I pour my heart into this blog post. I know I will get some negative comments. Someone is going to tell me to get over myself, that I need to move on or just be happy for other people. Many people will never understand the feelings I have and that's okay! Honestly, it's fine. If you are lucky enough to never have to experience the pain and longing caused by infertility, I truly am happy for you. For those of us that have suffered, it is a very hard road. This blog is my site and my place to write my feelings. My therapy. By writing these words and being able to "say them out loud", I am able to grow, to process my feelings and to move forward. Thank you for reading and thank you for your kindness!

I put up walls. Mentally, not outwardly. Facebook is full of friends, acquaintances, old classmates, and relatives. Most of my news feed is clogged with group posts from the tons and tons of cloth diaper groups I belong to. I rarely see business or blog pages and even friend posts are hidden among the cloth diaper chatter. None of this is by choice and honestly, I long for the old days of Facebook when you just completed sentences about yourself ("Jenny is .....") and sent badges to your friends to pin on their walls. Things were simple back then. Now Facebook is full of thoughts, information, drama, and whatever else people want to share. But really this post isn't a rant about Facebook. Facebook is a part of my job and as much as I dislike it some days, I love it others.

The problem is not being able to filter out things on Facebook. It happens almost every day. I log in to Facebook and put my guard up. I just know that at any moment a pregnancy announcement is going to pop into my feed. The truth is, I start putting these mental walls up around the time babies turn a year old. That's around the time that I expect a lot of my friends will start trying for more children. Some pregnancies happen way before then and many don't happen for months and months later, but I know it's coming. So I try my best to guard my heart and prepare for the ultrasound picture, the big brother or sister announcement, whatever adorable thing they've concocted to announce that another baby is on the way. And every time I see one, I catch my breath. The sadness sets in and the infertility once again begins to consume me.

It's not just on Facebook. I do at gatherings too. Whenever I find myself in a room full of young moms I worry that I will be hit with the news of a new baby on the way. It happened a few weeks ago. I met a group of moms for coffee. I honestly was worried one mom was going to have news and tried to prepare myself mentally. Instead, another mom showed up with her very new newborn. It hurts and it's hard, but it's life.

I am suffering from infertility. My husband and I don't get to have another baby. My son doesn't get to be a big brother. But not these other families. My infertility doesn't (and shouldn't) stop the rest of the world from growing their families and excitedly announcing it. The truth is, these moms, dads, siblings, families should be excited! They should share their news with everyone and on Facebook in the most adorable way that they choose. Babies are blessings and should be celebrated.

But for me, I need time. Time for the news to sink in. Time for the pain from the reminder that once again we aren't pregnant and my body is failing us. At home my mood may fall. I may cry. I may pour my heart out to my husband or on this blog. I get over it. I move on. I'll come to your baby shower if you invite me and tell you all about cloth diapers if you are interested. It's all part of the healing process.

It may not sound like it, but I've come a long way in three years. The infertility doesn't consume me like it once did. I've found a lot of peace. Most days are good days, but the bad days still come. The pregnancy announcements still sting. The newborns still make me long for my own.


Simple & Affordable Cloth Diapers from Buttons Diapers!

This post contains sponsored links. 

Are you looking for a diaper that is SIMPLE and AFFORDABLE? Cloth diapering doesn't have be complicated, overwhelming, or expensive! You can easily create a cloth diaper stash using diapers that make the most of your money, while saving your sanity with their easy to use features.

Buttons Diapers are an all-in-two (AI2) diapering system that makes diapering your baby easy, affordable, and fun! The system is made up of one-size (OS) diaper covers and inserts that snap-in to the cover.

Each cover is made from stretchy PUL (for a good fit) with a wipeable interior, so you can use them again and again before needing to wash! The covers also have double leg gussets and elastics at the back and front to prevent dreaded blow outs!

The inserts simply snap in place inside the cover preventing slipping and misplacement. You can choose microfiber inserts or inserts made from hemp and cotton for heavy wetting babies.

To use, just snap a clean insert into a cover and fasten the diaper onto your baby. When it's time to change the diaper, snap out the insert and wipe the inside of the cover clean!

You can diaper your baby using this OS system for as little as $240! The covers retail for as little as $11 a piece. The inserts start at $3.50. Buttons Diapers recommends having one cover for every three inserts.

An example of diaper stash made with Buttons Diapers:

8-10 Diaper Covers 
18-24 Daytime Inserts 
2-3 Nighttime Inserts

But if you're just looking to get started, the Starter Pack is a great option! 

Buttons Diapers is owned by a family out of Washington and all of their diapers are CPSIA compliant! You can find out more about the Buttons Diapers family here

Would you like to win the chance to add some Buttons Diapers to your stash? Enter on the Rafflecopter below to win a prize pack from Buttons! One winner will receive two diaper covers and two daytime inserts of your choice! Open to the US and Canada. Must be 18 years old to enter. Giveaway ends May 10, 2015. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Kelly's Closet Fluffiversary Giveaway!

This post contains affiliate links.

Happy 14th Fluffiversary to Kelly's Closet! I have been a fan of Kelly's Closet since I first found them when pregnant over 4 years ago! In that time, I have made countless purchases (hello cloth diaper addiction!), learned how amazing their customer service is, and become an employee! I think it's safe to say that I love Kelly's Closet and they are my favorite cloth diaper retailer!

Read about why you should shop at Kelly's Closet!

Kelly's Closet has the best coupon codes! If you're looking to make an order, these are two current codes available! Who doesn't love free diapers?

14 years ago I was in high school and cloth diapers weren't even something I ever thought about! bumGenius, Rumparooz, GroVia, and Thirsties weren't even companies! It's amazing to think how far the cloth diaper industry has come in 14 years!

Today, we're going to celebrate those years with prizes from Moraki and Logan and Lenora! Moraki diapers are sewn by a handful of moms in California (hooray for USA made!) and Logan and Lenora makes the most gorgeous, boutique-y wet bags I have ever seen! But the prizes don't stop there! There are also prizes from AppleCheeks, Balm Baby, and Rumparooz, with new prizes being added daily for a total of 14 days!

Enter to win on the Rafflecopter below! Happy Fluffiversary Kelly's Closet!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Reusable Swim Diapers - Everything you need to know!

This post contains affiliate links.

Swim season is on the way! Skip the disposable swim diapers and switch to cloth! There are many brands, some are even sold at stores like Target, but if you have a favorite cloth diaper retailer, I encourage you to give them your business! You may have heard that you can use a cloth diaper as a swim diaper. I'll break down all the things you should consider when deciding which route to go.

Swim diapers are made to hold in the solids only. This is true for both cloth and disposable. If your baby pees, the liquid will pass straight through the diaper.

Tip! Wait until you are ready to get in the pool or at the beach before putting the swim diaper on your baby. If you do it at home and then drive to your destination, you could end up with a car seat full of pee!

I suggest a minimum of two swim diapers for each visit. If you plan on being at the pool longer than a few hours or if you swim frequently, you may need more. For each visit, you'll need one for your baby to wear and then a back-up in case your baby poops.

Tip! Don't forget a wet bag to store your dirty swim diapers. Wet bags are also great for wet swim suits too! 

Swim diapers that have some kind of closure, either snaps or aplix, will make diaper changes easy if your baby poops! Having a diaper that pulls on and off without any snaps can make a mess.

Repurposing a cloth diaper
Some brands says you can use their cloth diapers without the absorbent layer as a swim diaper. GroVia suggest using their shells (without the soaker) and bumGenius suggests using a 4.0 without the insert. Both of these options will work! However, you should consider that concrete, sand, shells, and all potentially damage the PUL layer of your diaper. Cloth diapers are also made to hold in liquids, unlike swim diapers. Even without an absorbent layer, the PUL will pool some of the water in the diaper in between your baby's legs.

Delaminated diaper
The only real use left for a diaper that has delaminated is as a swim diaper. Once the diaper delaminates, it loses it's ability to be waterproof. Since the diaper is no longer usable in your stash, you shouldn't be concerned about the concrete or the shells and this would be a great way to use that diaper!

We have used both Bummis and AppleCheeks and were able to use both for more than one swim season without my son outgrowing them. We found the investment to be worth it! For more info on these two brands, see this comparison post.

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